First of all - a friend asked the other day if I was going to Blog about touring stuff and music stuff, and I certainly am; but I can never start something like this when I'm doing the road part of my job, so these first few are going to be just observations. By the way - does anyone actually care to hear about the road stuff? And if so, more or less than the other random thoughts? I'll take comments . . .
I've been struck lately by the pendulum of personality. In myself and others I keep noticing the extreme swings of trying to figure out who we are and how we work.
The first crest of the pendulum swing comes along when we have swung as far as possible in our natural direction and find that position to be less than useful in everyday life. For instance, if you are a person that says what you think, you might find yourself at the extreme of that swing when you offend someone you care deeply about by sharing something they weren't quite ready to hear from you. Granted, you didn't mean to hurt anyone - you just naturally say what you think.
And as a result of guilt, or a tried and true effort at learning from mistakes - we come to the opposing swing of the pendulum. Now, we find ourselves avoiding at all costs that which comes naturally to us. This reaction is probably a natural response but can be detrimental in other aspects of our lives. Now we are out of balance - trying to live our lives outside our natural strengths and exposing and wounding our weaknesses.
So we swing a little less in the other direction, then back towards our insecurities and over time we settle into a shorter swing that serves as as a well-rounded individual.
I've started to notice my swings; and the sad part is that I kind of hoped I was old enough to be past them. I feel like I know who I am - but I still swing hard sometimes and the swings themselves can be frustrating. I keep learning from them and looking forward to the day when the balance of my various pendulums swing evenly and smoothly in a controlled circle. Then again I have to wonder if I will ever get there. This life is full of curve balls and every one swings at a curve ball from time to time (get it, swings?). Maybe its a calming thing to simply recognize the swing and work with intent towards finding the middle ground.
Pendulum - I remember seeing a huge one when I was young, but never imagined it would stick like it has.